


There'll Be Peace When You Are Done

by supershanaynay



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 15x18 Despair, 15x19 Inherit the Earth, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant through 15x18, Episode Fix-It: s15e19 Inherit the Earth, Episode Fix-It: s15e20 Carry On, Episode: s15e18 Despair - Castiel's Confession Scene, F/F, F/M, Finale? What Finale?, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Post-Episode: s15e18 Despair, canon adjacent 15x19, finale fix-it, i was promised peace, s15e18 Despair - coda
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:01:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29494737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supershanaynay/pseuds/supershanaynay
Summary: Cas is taken by the Empty. Chuck has dusted everyone. Sam, Jack, and Dean are alone, and must once again find a way to save the world and bring back those they love. Other than that, I don't know. As a great angel once said, "We're making it up as we go." (will update summary when fic is finished, whenever that is).
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Donna Hanscum/Jody Mills, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Kaia Nieves/Claire Novak, Michael/Adam Milligan
Comments: 4
Kudos: 5





	There'll Be Peace When You Are Done

“I love you.”

Dean swallowed. “Don’t do this, Cas.” _Don’t leave me. Don’t say this and leave. If I don’t say it, maybe he won’t leave—the Empty won’t take him._

He felt the hairs stand up on the back of his neck, and a chill went down his spine. Dean turned, black goo was forming on the wall behind him. _No._

_No._

_No._

_No._

Tears were threatening to spill over, and he turned back to his angel. _SLAM._ Billie finally broke through the door, her scythe raised in her hand.

“Cas—” He needed to say it, he needed to—

Cas smiled, taking a step forward. His hand fitted onto Dean’s shoulder, over the brand, the claim, that had healed years ago. Unbidden, Dean’s eye dipped to Cas’ lips. Were they going to—

“Goodbye, Dean.”

“What—”

Cas pushed Dean away, and he barely registered the hard stone as he hit the wall and then the floor.

Billie stalked forward, her scythe raised to strike. Cas smiled down at Dean, he seemed at peace. Black goo shot from the portal, enveloping Death. The black goo slowly encircled Cas, until finally even his smiling face was hidden. The tendrils disappeared back into the portal, until there was no more black goo. Just a stone wall.

No black goo.

No portal.

No Billie.

No Cas.

Nothing.

Dean struggled to breathe. His breath was coming out in gasps, and it was taking all of his willpower to keep the tears from streaming down his face. Sam. Jack. Chuck. He needed to call them, he needed to— What was he gonna say? Chuck had played them? Something had gone wrong?

 _“Something went wrong. You know this, something always goes wrong."_ Cas’ deep voice rang in his ears.

 _“Yeah, why’s that something always seem to be you?"_ Dean closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. He ignored the pit forming in his stomach. He needed to focus. Sam. Jack. They needed to know.

Dean opened his eyes and pulled out his phone. He could do this. Chuck was the problem, not Billie. And Cas. Cas was— Cas was— gone. They needed to know.

 _“You’re dead to me."_ His own words echoed back at him, mocking him. His arm went slack against his knee, the phone forgotten.

He had said that. To his best friend. He had said that and now Cas was— Dean slumped as everything that had happened washed over him.

_“You are human disorder incarnate.”_

Billie— Billie had been about to reach them. Dean had collapsed behind the bookshelf and he’d been too weak to move. And Cas had flown, for the first time in years. Not far, just down the hall. But Cas had flown on broken wings to buy them more time, to get them away from Billie.

 _“I just led us into another trap."_ They were trapped in the dungeon, and Death was knocking at the door. At least they would die together. Go down swinging. No one was going to separate them.

 _“And she’s going to kill you. And then she’s going to kill me."_ Billie had wanted Dean to suffer. She had held his heart in her hands. He knew she would have gone after Cas first, made Dean watch his angel die. And Cas… Cas would have fought. He would have stood against impossible odds, against Death herself.

 _“When Jack was dying, I—I made a deal to save him… The—the price was my life. When I experienced a moment of true happiness, the Empty would be summoned and it would take me forever."_ That had been over a year ago, how could Cas not have told him? How could he be so stupid? They would have found a way, they always found a way—

 _A moment of true happiness._ Cas, he hadn’t been happy? This whole time… he hadn’t been happy. Cas hadn’t been happy with him.

 _"Why's that something always seem to be you?"_ Of course Cas hadn’t been happy. _Michael. Mom. Jack. Chuck. Me._ Dean had been… horrible. Yet Cas had forgiven him. Cas had come back. Cas always came back… 

_“Because the one thing I want, it’s something I know I can’t have."_ What did he want? Dean? Impossible. Angels didn’t feel, they didn’t love, the same way humans did. Cas couldn’t possibly feel the same way Dean did. The one thing—the one person—you want, and they are forever unattainable to you.

_“It’s in just saying it.”_

_“What are you talking about, man?"_ Dean had assumed… after Cas had silenced him in Purgatory… how could Cas not have known? After he had given the mixtape, after Purgatory… Dean thought Cas had known. He thought he had known and just didn’t feel the same.

 _“You’re Daddy’s Blunt Instrument."_ Dean mentally flinched. He’d never told Sam what had happened in that dream. He had never told anyone. _You are nothing. Daddy’s Blunt Little Instrument. I know how you look in a mirror, and hate what you see._ Not Dean had known how to throw his punches, revealing all of the self hatred, the fear, Dean tried to keep hidden, to bury down deep where no one could find it.

But Cas, Cas had seen it. All of it. The good. The bad. The ugly. Hell’s torturer. Alistair’s protégé. The Righteous Man, nothing better than a black-eyed dick. _“Because I was angry, and because I just needed something to kill, and because that’s all I know how to do.”_ Why did he get so damn angry? Why did he destroy every good thing that came into his life? He was a killer, a torturer, a black stain.

 _“Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love."_ Cas had seen it. He knew Dean better than anyone else. Cas had held Dean’s broken soul in his hands. Cas saw him in Hell, torturing souls, and still held on, still saved him. Still claimed _him._

 _“You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know."_ Remembering those words struck something deep inside him, just as they had before. But this time, there was no shield. No macho performance to hide the broken and bleeding heart beneath. Dean sniffed as a tear finally escaped, leaving a trail down his face

_“Because you cared, I cared._

_“I cared about you._

_"I cared about Sam._

_“I cared about Jack._

_“But I cared about the whole world because of you.”_

Cas had torn into the very core of his being. Cas had chosen to sacrifice himself, to sacrifice everything he had, so Dean could live. Cas’ last act was one of love. And if Cas had learned love from him… 

_He loves me._ The thought clanged through his head, and he didn’t move as another tear slipped down his face. Cas loved him. He loved him. Cas loved Dean Winchester.

There was a buzzing. Dean blinked, how long had he been sitting here, staring at nothing? Staring at where Cas had been. He lifted the phone he had forgotten in his hand. The screen lit up, showing Sam was calling.

Sam. Jack. Chuck. The end of the world. Right. He needed to answer the phone. He needed to let them know. He needed to tell them that Cas—

Cas was dead.

Dean’s lip trembled as he finally acknowledged the final piece. Why he was alone. Why his heart had simultaneously been made full and shattered into a million pieces. 

Cas was dead.

Dean shook his head, the phone dropping to the floor next to him. Still buzzing. Sam was still calling.

Cas was dead. And he wasn’t coming back.

Dean knocked his head against the wall, the last of any emotional wall, any self-control, dissolving within him. He buried his head in his hands, tears freely streaming down his face.

“Cas,” he said, choking out the word between the sobs now wracking his body. The name was a prayer on his lips. Dean hoped Cas could hear him, even in the Empty, even dead. His angel, his friend, his happiness.

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> And that's the first chapter! Dean definitely blue-screened through the confession (we can barely process it 3 months later, and we knew/suspected it was coming), and I wanted to explore his reaction, especially since he spent all night not moving in the dungeon. This was mainly angst and barely plot, but I promise there will be plot to come. That last line was inspired by "Supernatural 15x18 Fix-It Ending | Dean Reciprocates" by Waywardism Edits on YouTube. It's like 36 seconds long and definitely worth getting your heart ripped out for. This is my first fic posted to ao3, so it's possible the tags will update as we go.


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